With a little help from my friends

Each year,since 2004 I mark this, the date of my oldest son’s

passing.I do not celebrate his death, only acknowledge that

the mark he left on the earth was one of joy.

His brother, his family and  friends, and lover’s do the same I am certain.

We remember his wit, his charm, his ability to make us

laugh. I remember all of these, and more…

I remember his first play, his first prom, his first girlfriend

and taking him to the bus station when he was going to enlist in the

Army.

I remember him constantly sneaking up on me while I was vacuuming

to catch me unaware and scare me. He always  laughed so hard I could not help

but laugh, too. I remember his heartbreak when his best friend and cousin

died suddenly. His grief was so intense it was as if God ripped half of him away too.

I remember when his baby birds were attacked and killed by marauding Fire Ants.

It made my heart hurt to know I had raised a man with such compassion.

I remember the death of his only child.

He left this Earth a better place and that can be no better tribute.

Inner turmoil

Time races forward towards June.

Soon it will be here,

the worst month of each year

when my Pied Piper

answered a whispered call,

he could or would-

not turn down…

I feel anxiety stretching taut

over me

head to toe

over me

like the five tiny kittens I once saw swaddled in

plastic

and tucked in a deep freeze

sometime after I went to bed…

It is my annual season of depression

when there are endless days I feel

I can’t continue here.

I feel the tears and pain of Mary

when she lost Jesus

well, sort of

I am without doubt not Mary-

and you were not really perfect.

It is not even June and I am in this dark space…

I daydream…

somewhere in the great beyond

you’ll journey by, in that other dimension

on a unicorn, your favored steed-

and chuckle…”come on now Mom

it has been ten years

We are all good here

don’t be sad

you’ll see me soon enough”.

Just now, Romeo calls to me!

come see the mystery revealed

again…

our first Black Swallowtail Butterfly

of the season has

hatched from her cocoon…

Life, on

The sphere on earth,

continues.